Grim bog standards

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Let me take you back to a few weeks ago, before the holidays began. It’s the end of term. You’ve been in the library for four hours and counting, and you’re nowhere near finishing the five essays due in next week. You’re cold. You’re tired. You’ve nipped out for food twice already but you’re still dreaming of Greggs to alleviate the boredom – basically, you’re pretty fed up. And then on top of all this, your bladder kicks in and you need the loo.

For the absolutely desperate, that could be another opportunity for a bit of brief procrastination. A few legitimate minutes away from the glare of those blank Word documents. Unfortunately, visiting the ladies toilets in Lancaster University library is a pretty harrowing experience.

About seven times out of 10, the ladies toilets are a rather nauseating experience – and for once, nobody can point the finger at the establishment. It’s the ladies to blame. I can’t comment on the gents, but it seems the vast majority of females at Lancaster have no idea of proper toilet etiquette. I’m talking some really nasty stuff – defecation, girls not knowing how to dispose of sanitary waste properly (come on! You should know this stuff by now!) – and then some of the more frustrating, just plain vandalism.

I just can’t fathom why. Why do girls go to the toilets in the library, and suddenly think ‘putting half of the loo roll down the bog is such a good, normal idea’! Majority of the time, there’s loo roll all over the floor, occasionally a sink blocked with it, and at least one of the toilets blocked. Sometimes there’s water all over the floor – why? Are people bathing in there? I don’t understand what causes this behaviour. I’m very familiar with mid-essay madness, but it doesn’t make me trash the nearest bathroom.

I seem to remember seeing the occasional poster in the library toilets last year regarding vandalism. Why are the female adults – real life grown-ups – acting like five year olds? God only knows how their own toilets are kept. The Learning Zone loos are just as bad – if not worse. In fact, my experiences in there have been so bad in the past that I point blank refuse to use those toilets now.

Come on girls. You’re old enough to know how to use the toilet properly without chucking tissue everywhere. I just feel rather sorry for the library staff and cleaners – how frustrating it must be. Saying that, how stupid of them to think adults can use the toilets unsupervised! I can only hope that by the end of the year, when I’m cramming for my third year exams, I won’t be avoiding the library loos at all costs.

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