The New Black
• New Clothes: Santa, or the sales, has delivered us all new outfits. Hurray! Now prepare to see your mate wear the same ‘new’ sodding jumper for the next ten weeks.
• Nigella Lawson: She is fabulous. Everything she wears sells out instantly. We are addicted.
• Wigs: We want them to be fashionable for everyone. Life would be easier. Wig Pride.
• Black: All black all the time. 2014 should be like one long funeral. Who’s death? Colours.
Croc Equivalent
• Christmas Jumpers: You may have well spent £20 on it. And yes it probably did get lots of LOLs at the office party. We know you want your wear out of it but please wait another 11 months before you do so.
• Celebrity Workout DVDs: No we do not want to partake in Miranda’s Maracattack.
• Yankee Candles: We admit they are the light of our life. Trouble is you have to forfeit a term’s rent in order to buy one.
• January Sales: You’ve found some gorgeous stuff while out shopping this month. TROUBLE IS NONE OF IT IS IN THE BLOODY SALES.
