The New Black
• Hate Blockers: We don’t care if it’s sunny enough or not. We’re wearing our sunglasses and hell yes we’re throwing shade.
• Raising Money: No not for that new handbag. For charity! Everyone is at it. The ‘school cake sale’ generation is finally showing us what they are made of. World peace we’re coming for ya!
• Club Giveaways: We don’t need an excuse at the best of times. But free money is as good an excuse as any.
• Final Clearance: You managed to get that dress for a fiver?! Somebody open the champagne! Your hours of surfing the net has paid off. Your dissertation? Non-existent.
Croc Equivalent
• NekNominations: Did the world just down a pint of stupidity?
• Paying with Card: The horror on a Saturday morning as you remember you bought a round of drinks of your card last night. Thrice.
• Easter Eggs: Why are they on sale so early? We’ve only just shifted our Christmas weight. And we’re a sucker for a chocolate shaped egg.
• Spilt Drinks: Your ‘Dry January’ is no excuse for the array of stains down your top in last night’s photos. Get a bloody straw.
