So you tend to forget about going to that seminar you’re paying £9,000 for, and it turns out you pretty much failed that essay you thought you had aced. But not to worry, even if you are not learning as much as you thought you would academically, you are more than making up for it in other ways. Don’t believe me? Well, maybe some of these sound familiar to you…
You have learnt how to blag a seminar presentation.
We’ve all done it. Some of us will have prioritised a night out and, consequently, the world’s worst hangover, over a dull presentation that you have been “working” on. But not to fear. The alcohol still in your system gives you the extra boost of confidence you so desperately needed, or in some cases, it just made you unaware of how much of a painful public speaker you truly are. Either way, just spitting out all the information did get you an A.
You now know how to live in the library.
Only at University have I seen a full grown man snoring in a library. This has become a regular occurrence now that the University has become a convenient 24/7 learning environment. It’s as if people have forgotten that they already have a home so they just don’t leave. It seems that leaning against a book case makes a pretty good bed, you can brush your teeth in the sinks in the toilets, and you can even nip out to, let’s say, the LICA building for a refreshing shower. You’ve even got a cute little garden to look out on.
Procrastination has become an art and you discover your true calling in life.
Coursework, internships, exams, no matter what you are doing, you will always find a good way to procrastinate like a boss. It’s even better for those of us who, somehow, have found their true passion. Instead of finishing off your dissertation why not start up your own business selling those 5p bracelets you just love to make?!
After your first assignment, you soon discover that the amount of alcohol you drink indicates what level degree you’ll leave with.
We all know someone who lives in the bar, never attends lectures, and is ecstatic when they get 40 percent on an assessment. Additionally, we all also know the kid who has yet to discover vodka and is unsurprisingly averaging at a first. Oh, how the other half live!
It won’t have taken you long to recognise that names are not important.
Some of my best friends at University didn’t have names until a couple of months ago and I certain that some will never have one. I would sit next to them in my lecture, go shopping with them, grab a cup of coffee, and still would not be able to introduce them out of fear that they would realise I do not know their name. But at the end of the day, as long as you can give them a funky nickname like “Sleegan”, “Nails”, or even “Blondie”, real names do not matter that much. That is of course, only at University.
You discover that plates and bowls are not needed as long as you have a mug and a microwave.
Mugs are no longer reserved for coffee, oh no, they can be used for noodles, ready meals, and even baking cakes!
What’s the most important item in your wardrobe? A onesie!
I have to admit, I love a good onesie. Whether it’s my dinosaur onesie I wore last year to Fylde’s Extrav, or my super-warm one which means I can live like a true student with little heating, my onesies are always a must have. Not only are they fashionable, but they are fairly cheap to buy, comfortable, and very relaxing. All you need to go with them is either a nice hot chocolate, or a classic cold beer.
Finally you discover your love for sport during the annual Roses competition.
This year Lancaster witnessed its 50th Roses competition against York University and the majority of us were truly inspired. Witnessing all the sporting talent Lancaster has to offer will have undoubtedly convinced a number of us to take up new challenges, whether it be to be a part of Lancaster, to develop new skills, or simply get close to those rugby men, we have learnt to love sport!
This relatable list is only the beginning of things we learn at university besides our degree. Hopefully most of it will be positive, and to those who are leaving us very soon, we wish that you use this knowledge wisely.