Our society seems increasingly dominated by single people with a third of people over the age of 16 currently out of relationships. So, with plenty of singletons out there, why are we finding it so difficult to fall in love? Have we all just become too picky for our own good or are we just a generation that knows what we want? We belong to a culture where we have the ability to adapt our lives to fit our exact requirements. Choice is all around us, whether it is in what car we buy or what shoes we wear. But can we really be this picky in love? And are we looking for a love that only exists in great romantic novels and films?
There is nothing wrong with refusing to settle for second best but with a society obsessed with the idea of intense romance, Edward and Bella style, are we looking for a love that doesn’t happen in reality? With dating sites being advertised on a regular basis portraying images of loved up couples in perfect harmony it seems like everybody is looking for the ‘perfect love’. But, this notion of perfection in romance seems to belong in a fantasy world where the sun always shines and romantic music always plays softly in the background.
Unfortunately in rainy Lancaster this romantic ideal leaves us feeling a bit deflated. In reality, every guy doesn’t look like Edward and have the charm of Bruno Mars. Similarly, most girls don’t bear any resemblance to Cheryl Cole. But, maybe if we removed these unrealistic expectations we’d move one step closer towards finding love.
Often, real love is more than what you see in the movies and most of the time getting to know each other’s good and bad points can lead to a match to rival all those Hollywood romances. So what if they don’t tick all the boxes on your check list for the perfect man? In the real world no one really is perfect. We don’t expect our friends or family to be faultless so why put this pressure on a relationship? Who knows, after a while the traits you might see as terrible might eventually become the ones you love the most.
This said, settling for any one person will never bring you happiness, in the same way that pickiness will never bring you perfection. If you’ve been on a couple of dates and still no chemistry is felt then don’t waste your valuable time on someone that’s doesn’t seem suitable for you. Being in a relationship where there is no connection will make you no happier than being single. Therefore, a middle ground needs to be found. Take steps to alter your 10 page criteria of what you need in a relationship, focus on maintaining your independence instead and the rest will fall into place. The real world isn’t perfect and neither is the road to love but navigating our way along it is almost always the best part.