The Life and Times of Leo Lancaster…


After all the gossip and rumours surrounding the tragic murder of Leo Lancaster, I think it’s probably about time I did my own speculation. I don’t mean to speak in negative terms about such a devastating loss but Leo Lancaster wasn’t the hero everyone made him out to be, I know quite a few people who had cause and motive to turn on him and get their revenge.

A source who has asked to remain nameless (probably wise to avoid the backlash) disclosed some interesting information to me last night, the few drinks I bought them probably helped.

First of all, let’s think about General Grad, the guy who works in Grad Bar. Apparently, he knew all about Leo’s affair with Clara Cartmel and when he told Leo he would expose the truth Leo turned around and told him he knew about him being dishonourably discharged from the army. Who knew the nice guy who pulled pints in Grad bar had a sullied service record? He wouldn’t want that being exposed now would he…

After I’d bought my mystery source another drink, I found out that president of Bowland collegeBertie Bowland had been informed by Leo Lancaster about the closure of his college. Apparently since being told about the future closure Bertiehad been resorting to underhand and illegal tactics to try and gather up some funds to support his college. Finally, having raised enough money, Bertie was thrilled to inform Leo thatBowland College could stay open. But, all was not well. Leo laughed off Berties fundraising and told him Bowland’sclosure was nothing to do with lack of money, but that he wanted to shut the college down to replace it with a start of the arts second Sports Centre, and there was nothing Bertiecould do to stop him.

Dramatic, eh? Bertie loves his college more than any student I’ve ever known, he won’t have taken to that news well…

Finally, just before my mystery source passed out after a dodgy sambuca shot, we discussed Fiona Fylde’s terrible betrayal by Leo Lancaster. I can’t believe Fiona wasted five years of her life dating a player like Leo. He was a manipulative success hunter who obviously only proposed to Fiona to boost his profile during his election campaign. Fiona deserved to be treated like the wonderful woman that she is, to be protected and appreciated not cheated on and used for political purpose. Leo’s arrogance was certainly something I’m not alone in noticing.

So there we have it, I’m probably going to get sacked after this. Yes I may have disgraced the reputation of a murdered LUSU President but many a false accusation and testimony has been flying around this week and I think SCAN readers deserve to know the truth.

If you never hear from me again I’ve been struck off the writers list.



(Think you know who the murderer is yet? Don’t forget to check out and the Facebook page – No LUSU President was harmed in the making of this Media Murder Mystery. This blog, all characters and reported events are entirely fictional.)

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