A guide to posing perfectly for photos

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Looking at my phone the morning after a ‘few quiet drinks’ last week left me asking, ‘why do I suddenly think I have become Miley Cyrus?’. Minus the foam finger and the twerking, I seemed to be sticking my tongue out in ninety per cent of the photos. I had become a hybrid of frog and woman, my tongue poised and ready, as if I was waiting to catch some flies. However, as the days have gone by, I have noticed how the sticky out tongue face is actually immensely popular – apparently showing your tonsils is now the norm when someone points a camera in your direction. This has inspired me to devise a guide of all the things we are guilty of when expected to pose.

The teapot pose. I personally partake in this one to eradicate any sign of bingo wings; however other people may have different motives. Often useful if you find yourself on either the far left or far right of a group photo, the key is to stand up tall with one hand on your hip and the other hand dangling by your side. To create some symmetry you could put both hands on your hips, however this is less teapot pose and more ‘I-look-like-an-angry-football-coach’, but the choice is yours.

The duck pout. This can work well in conjunction with any of the poses in this guide (apart from the sticky out tongue pose, for obvious reasons). Again there is an ulterior move here, the duck pout can help to accentuate cheek bones, but I think you could also use it to draw attention to a new lipstick or gloss you have purchased. I can only describe this pose as ‘puckering up’ – purse your lips together in what you consider to be a fairly attractive way and watch the Facebook likes role in.

The peace sign. Often a good pose if you are caught off guard and suddenly find a camera lens pointed in your direction. An easy one to master, the peace sign involves making a ‘V’ shape with your index finger and middle finger, tucking the rest behind your thumb. Disclaimer: I have many a time gone to do the peace sign pose and actually reversed it, causing me to swear at said photographer; be careful so as not to offend.

The bending your knees pose. Now I can understand this one if you are tall; bending your knees to balance out the height difference makes sense. Believe me, I know how it feels to look like the Big Friendly Giant when you friends’ heads barely even touch your shoulder. However, people of all heights seem to be contributing to the popularity of this pose, suggesting that there is actually a connection between a camera lens and the Earth’s gravitational pull.

The ‘I seem to look better if I pull a funny face’ pose. I rarely seem to be able to take a ‘normal’ photograph. Sometimes my friends get annoyed that I have ruined yet another, as I am either mid-laughter, looking in the wrong direction, or have gone for a pose that connotes I have an excellent sense of humour. Other times they rejoice in this excellent sense of humour, and it is these photographs that you will haunt each other with for the rest of your lives, laughing until your cheeks ache.

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