The unwritten rules of Facebook

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With social networking a major part of most students’ lives, a set of ground is needed for Facebook etiquette. In order to be the perfect Facebook friend, follow these three Golden Rules.

The first Golden Rule of Facebook: ‘Thou Shalt Not Update Thy Status Every Two Minutes’

There is nothing worse than clicking on the News Feed to check the latest gossip than to find that one person is constantly updating you on every detail of day to day life. Whether you’re hungry, dying for the loo, or outrageously tired, people do not want to know this! It seems that Facebook has gone one step further than social networking, with people thinking it is alright to tell the whole world, well their whole friends list, about mundane activities of their day. If you are a culprit of the excessive-status-disease, please realise that, although too nice to say, people do not want to know that you had toast for breakfast this morning or a bad night’s sleep. If you continue with your socially unacceptable behaviour, please expect to be deleted with immediate effect.

The use of Facebook Chat is the next item under fire.

Golden Rule Number Two: ‘Talk to Thy Friends on Chat (But That Is It)’

This is a rule that has come to existence through the development of social networking. It is silently understood that there are only certain friends that you will speak to on the instant chat messenger. This means that old school peers, who are accepted as a ‘Facebook friend’, should not expect an in depth conversation on Chat. That leads to another point of why we accept friend requests on Facebook, of people we no longer speak to. It is nice to see what an old school friend has been doing since you drifted apart, and perhaps a wall post every now and then, but generally, that is it. On the positive side, Facebook is a fantastic tool for staying in touch with old friends; I am sure that every student leaving University this summer is thankful for social networking, to stay in touch with friends despite the busy working lifestyle.

The third and final Golden Rule of Facebook: ‘Do Not Add Thy Parent on Facebook’

The excitement of receiving a notification is flattened by the message that your parent has commented on your status or picture. Whether it is telling you that eating takeaway for breakfast is ‘not a healthy diet’, or a shocked response at your latest picture album of a drunken visit to Sugarhouse, parents are the bane of a student-Facebooker’s life. On the other hand, it is very amusing for friends to see the latest telling off spread all over the victim’s wall. I have a friend who put pictures of her tattoo on Facebook, much to the shock of her mum. Despite her embarrassment of being told off over Facebook, we found it hilarious. Another pitfall of the parent-Facebook – debacle is when you accidently leave yourself signed into Facebook at the mercy of your friends – aka you are fraped. There is nothing worse than explaining to your distraught parents that you are not pregnant, or have not contracted an STD, much to the amusement of your friends.

So, in order to not drive your friends and family insane and remain a social norm, follow these rules religiously.

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