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5 Lancaster University students talk about how they lost their virginity to break down the taboo.
In a generation learning that your first time isn’t usually to the music of Lionel Richie, rose petals gently floating down onto a large four-poster, soft sighs and moans in the air, virginity is perhaps becoming more widely recognised as a wearisome social construct.
In light of this, I spoke to five Lancaster University students about their first times:
“I’d felt so much pressure to lose my virginity to someone I was in a serious relationship with but, a week before I turned seventeen, my boyfriend of nine months ended it. While my parents were away that weekend, I messaged a close friend and he came around. As it turned out, having your first time with a friend, Rick and Morty playing on the TV, chatting together, was just as good. It hurt a little and lasted way longer than I thought it would, but he had some cuddle fat which was cosy to fall asleep against afterwards.”
“I was on a social at uni when I met her. At the end of the night, she said, ‘Oh yeah, let’s see your flat,’ and I got the hint. I felt like it could have gone worse for the first time, it was pretty good; I didn’t have much attraction towards her but I just wanted to lose my virginity, basically. Then we cuddled for a bit afterwards and went our ways about six in the morning. I didn’t have any protection (never got one in my freshers’ pack, gutted) but I will go to a sex clinic sometime – she said she was clean, but I will go just to be safe. Apart from not using protection, I don’t have any regrets.”
“The first time I tried, I’d been with my boyfriend for two months, it was probably too early, but we got a bit drunk, and I thought I’d try to lose my virginity. It didn’t work. I wasn’t really in the mood because I was a bit scared, I bled a little, and ‘The Pina Colada’ scene from Grown Ups came on the TV. The second time was pretty good – I also got drunk, went upstairs with him, and it wasn’t awkward at all, it was nice. I don’t think you have to lose it with someone you’re in love with, but I think it should be someone you trust and care about. Especially if you’re a girl because there are so many things that can go wrong – you can bleed, it can hurt – it’s important to have someone you can trust.”
“It was with my now ex-girlfriend and happened about a month in. I was round hers, and we were at this point where we knew it was early, but it was a spur of the moment thing. I didn’t really have any expectations; we’re there and at it, just enjoying it best we can, and it was amazing, at the time, if a bit quick. I would have left it for a later date to be sensible, but it was a really enjoyable experience, and we were together for two and a half years, so I don’t regret it.”
“It happened very recently with my boyfriend. We’d tried other stuff first so thought we’d try the actual thing. It wasn’t really anything to shout about – it was a bit rubbish, really. It hurt a lot so it didn’t last very long and it was awkward at times, but I’m glad that I did it and it’s out of the way. I’m glad it was someone I’d been with for a little bit and got to know, that made a difference.”