Why the ex?

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The letter “x” is everywhere; a sign of love and affection that is used by us all. I receive countless abuse for not putting enough “x’s” at the end of text messages, and so it is ironic that this is the very same letter that we use to refer to someone that we have ended a relationship with.

Whether you can be friends with your ex depends on the circumstance. If you are both fully aware and happy with the situation you are in, if you’re just friends, then yes, why can’t it work? It seems easier to be friends with an ex when you are with someone else, because your feelings are not for them any more. Or can this ever really be the case? Of course, then there is collision with that fact that your new partner probably isn’t happy that you are friends with them, which takes us back to square one.

But what if we don’t want to be friends with them? Wouldn’t it be great to start a new relationship without having to mention anything about past relationships? But the fact is, when getting to know someone new, you share stories about your life, and it just so happens that the stories that have got you this far probably involve the people who perhaps are no longer a part of your life… enter the ex.

Just like the little letter, exes seem to pop up all over the place and at times you really wish they would just stay away. A romantic night out, and suddenly you’re in the middle of conversation about that trip you took and had some of the most hilarious moments of your life… P.S it was with your ex. Another common reason we find exes reoccurring is when you try to casually drop into conversation all the things you hated about them just so your new partner knows never to do any of those things. “He was really jealous every time I went out”- loosely translated to- “I don’t want round two of this aggro- give me space to go out and have a good time with my friends!”

The ex in sex: Sleeping with an ex is known to give a certain level of unexplained excitement. But does it really work? Can you sleep with them without feeling anything? There is a cruel reality to sleeping with an ex as it can become a torturous one-sided love affair. I asked a friend if he thought it was a good idea, he said, “Of course not. We know we shouldn’t do it, but everyone does it anyway.” Is that not like most things in life? Human instinct, we love what is bad for us, want what we can’t have, and if someone tells us not do something we want to do the exact opposite.

The whole “friends with benefits” thing is something that can be left to open to debate. If you’re friends with your ex it means you treat them like every other one of your friends. If not, maybe you’re kidding yourselves. “Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt…”

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